Fear

Fear, n.: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

I will admit, before taking this trip, I was scared s***less, and to be honest, I still am. This will be the first time that I’ve ever been this far away from “home”. It’s even going to be my first time in Asia, and I’m far from fluent in the native language. What have I gotten myself into?! . . .

All joking aside, what I’m going to miss most is my mother. I know I may not be the best son, I raise my voice, I lose my temper really easily, and I often forget things, but this trip has encouraged me to be a better son. As my mother’s son, I should know better, be more understanding, and overall be better. No one else knows us quite as well as we know each other. In the bottom of my heart, I love my mother the mostest in the whole-wide-world. Even before I’ve taken this trip, I’ve realized the incremental change within myself. I know I can only become the son that my mother deserves.

Momma-wolfie (my nickname for her), you mean the world to me. I know I wouldn’t be who I am, or where I am, without your guidance, care, and your loving spirit and endless support. You do so much for me, and at times, without realizing how much of an impact you leave. I thank you, simply for being who you are, the best momma-wolfie a big-wolfie (formerly baby, but in her eyes, probably still am) could ask for. I love you, and everything that makes you who you are, moistest in the whole-wide-world.

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I hope you read this ma, just so you know just how much I care for you, how much you mean to me, and how much I love you, I know you’ll be alright, you have our gaugaus to watch over you! I’m one email, call or Skype call away, and I’ll be back before you know it! Just remember ma, that nobody’s perfect and somethings you just have to let go, you’re amazing who you are, and I love you. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I promise, the next time I leave we’ll be together on our way to Hong Kong. I miss you so much already. And yes, I’m a momma’s boy :)

- JC(3.14)